So, I think I may have everything figured out. I mean, not really, but like, in terms of... well. I don't know.
I thinks there has to be a reason that I've stopped giving it my all, especially concerning relationships. I mean, there was a point I would never turn someone down, and I'd be really happy knowing someone else liked me. I don't have that anymore. I really don't care. Yeah, relationships are great, I love them. But, I haven't found them as rewarding. They're just there, sitting, making no difference aside from the constant talking with one another, but I mean, other than that, it's nothing.
I have no problem now making out with a different person everyday of the week. This doesn't phase me at all. I don't feel any guilt, or jealously if they go with someone else. It all became completely meaningless to me.
So, as Aubree and I were sitting outside of Wawa at two in the morning, I think I figured it out. Of course, this was when we, being the awesome emotional masochists we are, looked through our old saved texts that should be deleted but aren't.
I have my standards set too high. I'm looking for something I had a little over a year ago. I want that, and I don't believe that there is anything like that out there, and, if there is, it's going to end the same way. So, I'm looking but ruining all my chances with these extraordinary standards that should never be fulfilled for reasons that nobody in the world can be that perfect, so obviously something horrible is going to go down.
Sexually, I'm confused as fuck. I don't even know anymore. I've given up with labels.
Current mental status: emotionally fucked.
- Mood:
Not Impressed - Listening to: the Chemical Brothers.
- Reading: The Glass Bead Game- Hesse.
Devious Journal Entry
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Canon EOS 500D
Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II
Canon EF 17-40mm f/4L USM
Canon Speedlite 580EX II flash
(:
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black and blue and broken bones.
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sometimes i like to wrap my whole body in aluminum foil just to see what id look like as a robot
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~ProjectComment ~ Do you have deviations with less than 10 original comments?
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“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
-Oscar Wilde
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